Need to get something off my chest.

I must start this off with Suicide is a terrible reality of this world and those that its leaves in its wake are just as much victims of those it takes. I in no way advocate suicide and encourage those that are facing the harsh realities of Depression, mental illness and more to reach out for help, there are many who want to support and comfort you. But I feel I need to get this out of my head before it festers. I have read Matt Walsh's blog and several others, as it is hard to avoid them at this point in the aftermath. While I am overjoyed that mental illness and depression are being spoken about and people are encouraging others to find help, I find myself dismayed at the alarming amount of people running around saying suicide is a choice. Unsurprisingly, many of these same people openly admit to not suffer from this same disease, yet have no problem dictating how those that do should act.


Depression isn't a choice. Suicide, a culmination of the terror that is depression, isn't a choice, nor is it selfish. Nothing could ever sway someone to choose laying in bed physically incapable of moving while internally screaming at themselves to "Get up! Do Something! Move! Take a shower! EAT! For God's sake MOVE!" To see their body literally betray them, to be trapped in an ever warping mentality that everyone knows is a slippery slope with suicide glaring at them from the bottom of the ravine. No one will argue that hope, joy and spirituality are insignificant parts of our lives and choices but at the same time that is like saying you have a choice to not give into HIV, AIDS, Leukaemia, and more. Depression is a chemical imbalance, a mental illness, a disease that has no cure. Depression has physical manifestations that proves its not just a “outlook” or “imaginary” thing. Abnormal glands, membranes, brain and cardiac tissues, limps or restricted movements, loss of movement and paralysis, lumps or nodes, mood swings, loss of appetite- all of these are symptoms of depression. All are also symptoms of cancer as well, yet no one is saying cancer is a choice. There are ways to buffer it. Compassionate care, vigilant love and attention, open communication, support groups, like minded partners who understand and don’t yell or shame… the list goes on. You can get a pill that helps minimize the voices constantly in your head, but they never truly go away.


Even worse are the ones out there that are shaming Christians for their struggles with depression. “Weak” or “False” Christians, according to them, don’t give into depression and either contemplate or attempt suicide. Wrong. The Bible is full of men, of devout faith, writing about wishing to end it all. Elijah. David. Paul. Saul! The wisest man, a gift given by god himself, suffered from mental illness and actually killed himself at his lowest moment- when after the loss of his sons, army and nation, his mind gave up and he lost the battle. And that is what it is, a battle not a choice. No one choses to lose a battle.


What Robin William’s death has done is make many realize that no one can truly understand the depth of someone else's suffering, or the reasons that could drive a soul to such desperation. Only God knows what is in a person's heart (Psalm 139:1-2). Only he knows the extent of pain which might bring a person to the point of suicide and what choice they do make. The choice to follow Christ, the only true important choice we can make in our life, is the one we must focus on. Even the most righteous and devoted follower can succumb to the pains of the flesh and depression is one of the most persistent “pains” out there. We cannot choose how our life will end, but we can choose how to live it. Care for one another, help those in need, treat others with respect and kindness, reach out, seek those who are in pain and give them rest. In short, Love as Christ loves you.