Letting Go

There are some things I need to let go of. I have had these feelings pented up for the longest time and I just need to let them go. I hope that these people know who they are and are able to read this. And to everyone else reading this, I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

• I have always considered you one of my best friends down here. I don't know how it happened but for some reason people twisted my words and we begun to hate each other. It crushed me. I wanted so badly to be really good friends with you. I wanted to be close and have someone outside my family know me well. But that didn't happen. Because of some one's insecurity and love for drama that never happened. We are still good friends and for that I am glad. I am so blessed to have gotten to know you and will cherish all the times we have had together. Good luck next year and hopefully we will be able to grow closer in the future.
• I have never hated you. Our youth group is so destructive that unless we have something to worry and fight about we can't seem to function. Once again people were mad at me and I had no idea what I had done. It wasn't until recently that I found out from a friend that once again something I had done was twisted for people's personal love for drama. Something that I had done out of love and worry for you became a malicious act against you. I would never do that. I was concerned about you because you seemed so lost and on a downward spiral. I heard a rumor that I shouldn't have believed and expressed my concern to someone I thought could help. It only made things worse however. Turns out the very rumor that I had heard and acted on was the very one that I was to have started in the first place. Ironic isn't it. When I heard you were mad at me I decided to let things happen on their own. Everything that I seemed to try to do to fix things only made things worse. So I thought to let things take their own course and hand it over to God. Thanks to him we are now on a course to being friends again and I am glad. I hope that when you read this you understand that I really care for you deeply and wish all the best for you in the future.

I feel so much better now that this is all off my chest. I felt like I have needed to say this for the longest time. I actively try to get along with everyone and I don't hate anyone. Yes, I may be mad at people occasionally but I can't stay mad for long. I have way too short of an attention span for that.
SO! The moral of this story is that our youth group has a real problem. We can't seem to ever get along. Yes we have times where everything is good and there isn't any problems, but those hardly last. Everyone is talking about needing change in our youth group and I think that instead of demanding Nichole to fix everything for us we need to work on it ourselves. Instead of all this whining and complainning, all the drama and hurting people, we need to just sit down work it all out. Maybe if we all just sat and talked it out we might be able to fix it. I don't know. I'm praying for all of us and hope that maybe we can all work this out. I know we can do it. We were all getting along so well last Weds. We were laughing, enjoying each other. Geeze, I was even freakin' dropped during a trust fall and couldn't have had a better time! Granted I was sore for the next couple of days, but I enjoyed myself. I hung out with people that I haven't been able to in a long time and that was good. Overall I felt like I was back in Montana and I felt good. We were happy, getting along, beating each other up and just being teenagers. I love this youth group and just want what is the best for us.
So I am totally ready and willing to work on this, are you?