*Insert Politically Correct Term Here*

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but you are not of the world, because I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.
—John 15:18-20

I read this verse today and it really struck home with me. So many times last year I had people look or act strangely around me. I was treated like I was an alien or a monster by some, others treated me like the snitch and everything I do is for the soul purpose of getting them into trouble. It wasn't really surprising. None of this behavior really came out until they heard I was a christian. I could be totally cool with them but the second they heard I was a christian they would flip a switch and their whole demeanor would change.
Its funny really. Society is all about the politically correct (or socially sensitive as it is now being called) and the destruction of stereotypes. Why its even a whole presidential campaign. But here is the thing. Its all lip service, especially when it comes to Christan's. Its in our comedy, our music, our television, our news... everywhere. I was watching last comic standing the other night and saw a particularly funny sketch about bombers from WWII. Of course the judges absolutely hated it because the one making the joke was a white man. They scolded him so bad about racial insensitivity and that America today didn't stand for that. Immediately following this man was a Korean woman who's whole act was a string of racial slurs about herself and her people. She was just as bad if not infinitely worse than the man before her. But the judges praised her, basically saying that it was okay to make fun of your own people. This infuriated me because an underlying message was also said just not verbally. That message was that everyone is allowed to make fun of themselves and others like them except a certain group of people, in this case a white comedian. Now I'm not doing this as a poor white girl but to make a point. This mentality heavily affects us as Christians. If we even try to make fun of ourselves we are scolded for not truly believing in God and being a poser christian. But everyone else is allowed to make fun of us. Oh God forbid (and I do intend it as irony) but God forbid that we make fun of other religions. If we make fun of Jews, we're antisemitic. If we make fun of Muslims, they start a holy war. If we make fun of African Americans, Hispanics, Asians or any other nationality, we're racists. But who is open game no matter what? Whites, Rednecks and Christians. I only say whites and rednecks because more often than not the stereotype that they are christian and it makes it okay. Now i'm not bashing on the other races, religions or nationalities. I'm just pointing out a supreme injustice that happens to affect me.
Everyone wants to be equal, everyone wants change. How about we change ourselves before we go trying to change other people? Let us focus on ourselves and stop trying to tell other people what they can or can't do, what they can or can't say and think. Lets just worry about what our own minds and mouths are saying, for those are the most dangerous really.

Wow.

I'm 19.
I have great friends.
My Family is awesome.
I get a day off of work tomorrow.
I got more than I wanted for my birthday.
I've gotten to see friends that I haven't seen in like forever.
I've gotten to really know some new ones quite well.
Did I mention I was 19?!?

Spokane

Have you ever heard of those little towns that never change no matter how long it has been since you last saw it? Everyone still knows everyone, people live in the same houses they have lived in for years, and landscapes and skylines never change. Well Spokane is one of those towns. Nothing has changed. The town, the people, even my old house hasn't really changed.
But at the same time it has subtly changed. The kitchen has new appliances and the floors are new. Yes the original curtains that my mom put up are still there, but rooms have been painted. In the same way Spokane itself has changed. People are subtly different. Friends that I knew better than the back of my hand have changed and I rarly recognise them. People have grown and changed and still others haven't changed at all. I've been elated and disappointed all at the same time.
But most of all I'm sad.
I guess without realising it that I had always left a special place in the back of my mind that had convinced me that I had never moved. That life in Oregon was just a long vacation and that I would eventually come back and slip back into the life I had.
Its sad when dreams die.
My life that I had isn't here anymore. The people I loved aren't here anymore. Sure they are physically here but not in the way I remember them and in some cases I wish they were better off gone. I'm definatly disappointed in some people. I will never tell them or go beyond saying anything past this, "I miss you and hopefully one day you will come back."
But on the other side of the pillow I am so proud of some people.
Scott, I have never been so proud of you in my life. You have grown up so much. I mean it when I say I'm proud of you and I love you. You have matured so much even in just the year it has been since we have seen each other. You're my best friend. It has always been the 3 of us hasn't it? You, Tammy and I. And everything is finally clicking back together. I'm so glad. And I totally expect to be standing next to you through more things in life.
I guess the one thing I haven't faced is how much I have changed. I wonder what these same people I am talking about think of me. Are they disappointed? Do they think that I have grown as much as I have seen others? Or deep down am I still stuck in the perfect memory of Spokane that I had created for my self? Who knows?
All I know is this. I think I am finally finding closure on my life in Spokane. Old crushes are dying, frendships are either ending or getting stronger, and in the end I am banishing the picture I left behind. Both in myself and out. I am no longer a young girl of 14 with her first love, working at Riverview and hanging with an amazing group of friends. I'm now less than a month from being 19, I have friends that are either new or old but will last a lifetime, and I am now working at college instead of a camp. But somethings will never change. I will always look for the feeling I felt that spring in 2004. I'm still looking for another great love. I'm still looking for amazing friends and I'm still looking for my future. But one can't find their future if they are held back by their past. So I go to this wedding tomorrow to close a door behind me as I walk into the world of my future.

Sigh

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise."-Proverbs 19:20

It is frustrating when you try to teach someone and they don't want to listen. Teaching a class full of college students should be easy right? They're college students! They should be well mannered and easy to teach right? But nooo. Any class, especially a PE reverts a person back to how they acted in Middle school. You'd think that they know how to act and when they don't you try to remind them. But you can't lead a horse to water and make it drink. It really comes down to if the other person is willing to listen or not. Which is hard because when you stick a ball in front of a guys face, he tends to stop listening. You could try to teaching them skills that come straight from God's mouth, but if they are off in their own little world then there is nothing you can do. Except for maybe take the ball away....
Still it feels really crappy when you try to teach them something and because they aren't listening you feel like a failure. It is almost enough to make one want to quit. But one just has to pray and trust God that in the end it will all work out.
I guess this is a good lesson though. If I really want to be a teacher, especially one in Health and P.E. then I'll have to get use to not being able to help everyone. I can't save the world. There will be people that won't want my help or are off in their own little world. There will be girls that even if I fail them will never dress down or actually participate. There will be kids that are forced to take my class and will actively hate me, some are even going to say it to my face. But I have to remind myself that the love that I have for these kids is like the love God has for me, unconditional. I will always do what I can for these kids whether they want me to or not. Even if it is like a tide washing up against a giant cliff. A steady stream of love will continually wear down it's resistance. So I may not be the final crash that saves these kids, but I am part of the solution. I just have to do all I can, even if they don't want to listen. If I can just give them the knowledge I have learned and give them the tools they need to save them from harm later in life, then that is all I can ask for.
God will do the rest.

107!! Its a Hundred-friekin'-Seven!!! ~Allister Jones

Fun times at the lakes with the buds, just trying to beat the ridiculous heat. Here is one of Flounder and Maracas, (Sydney and Myself as we have been dubbed) wading in the waters of Emmigrant Lake. 2 days at the lake... In a row... yeah... I really need to do my homework now.

Shiver me timbers please!

Its wonderful to watch a Camelot where the Lancelot is smokin', Guinevere is not a wilting flower, and Mordred is a punk rocker wimp.
Ah Glorious.
So if you can't tell I just finished watching Camelot live in the Lincoln Center with the New York Philharmonic.
Ahhhhh.... Lerner and Loewe are Geniuses!!
Brigadoon, Camelot, Paint Your Wagon, and My Fair Lady?
If they were both still alive I might just have to kiss them and thank them for their gift to the world.
OH yes.
Now I go off to hear Heath Ledger say my name with passion and watch silly boys play with horses and sticks.
It's a laaance! Heellloooo!

Lee-der-ship (n.)

"Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

So this question hasn't been able to leave my mind for the last week and apparently on the minds of others too. Everyone I talk to lately seems to be questioning the qualities needed to be a leader. Be it when you are talking about who you think will be a better president or talking about how you did in your interview for Resident staff next year. It just dominates my mind. Between RA training, RA interviews, Student Council, Job Interviews, Group Projects and School, its become rather ridiculous. I have started chiseling out a standard cookie cutter response that I know will look good on a resume or interview sheet and can spit it out without thinking.
Interviewers ask: How do you make a good leader?
"Being balanced. Knowing when to care and when to push. When to stretch and when to compromise. Knowing how to support but at the same time know when to drive those around you. Knowing when to step up or when to step back, even if it is hard."
But do I really believe it?
I was talking to our Dorm Daddy Rich Kane the other day when I brought this question to him and he told me something that I will try to keep with me for as long as I can.
He told me that the only good leaders are the ones that people don't realise that they are being lead by. A true leader is not afraid to step back and let others shine and bring out the best in the people around them.
And its true!! How many times did you work in a fabulous group where everyone worked really hard and did they're best? Did it seem like everyone was the leader yet at the same time no one was? We've all had projects or situations like this. But if you think harder about it there was someone asking questions or throwing out ideas or just encouraging people, right? They were true leaders. Not every leader needs to take charge and fearlessly lead their troops into a glorious death or battle, while those are still great leaders it may not be right for every situation. While it is effective, don't get me wrong, I have had it back fire on me more times than not. Sometimes people just don't want a dictatorship or even a hierarchy. I mean that's how our country as created right? England thought that if they kept a strong fist with it's colonies that everything would return back to normal, but we all know how that turned out.
I've been playing a new game I found called Europa Universalis III. In this game you step into the lives of famous rulers and try to keep your country alive. Its hard. You can't survive without your board of advisers. So even great rulers need support and each one of those great men had anywhere from one to twenty other men and women supporting them, each one of them a leader in their own right. I've learned that there are so many different kinds of leadership out there. Leading can be everything from assigning tasks, to giving complements, to even just suggesting someone use their strengths to make the situation better.
In a way everyone is their own kind of leader in their fashion. Some may be subtle, others in your face. Some may have been leaders all their lives and we only remember them for their great moments.
We all know the Shakespeare phrase, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them." Well, I don't agree. I believe that everyone has greatness inside them and use it everyday, we just tend to remember the really epic moments of greatness.
So I guess I think that next time someone makes you feel better when you're down or gives you a compliment, thank them for being an everyday leader.
Now all I have to do count down the moments till I get that letter Friday that tells me whether or not they think that I am they type of leader they need for Resident Staff next year.
Wish Me luck!!!